Shore Thoughts

It's been a while since my last post, so I apologize for my long hiatus. But much of that time was spent recovering from a summer of master's classes and then preparing for a long journey south. But after a short time at home, a long drive, and my first week, I am pretty well settled in my new residence as I begin serving the Church in Florida.  My involvement in particular ministries is still being finalized, but I've had a good first few weeks getting settled here and enjoying the life in community with my fellow Echo apprentices who have been placed in this area.

The adjective "itinerant" has described my life pretty well in the last week, not only because I was making the longest drive I've ever made, but also because this is the beginning of a whole new chapter of life.  I'm still realizing that I am not returning to my undergraduate university, Franciscan University of Steubenville, in a week, even though many of my friends are.  I'm realizing that I will not be seeing them and my fellow graduates for a while.  I'm realizing just how far from home I am.  I'm adjusting to a new lifestyle of being more or less independent, but also living in a community of new people.  There are many changes to adjust to, sure enough. But thankfully, everyone has been very kind and generous to me (and to all of us) as I move through the transition.

We've been out to the ocean a few times since I got here, and both times the song "Oceans" by Hillsong has been on my mind.  I remember I hadn't heard this song before I crossed an ocean to study abroad for four months.  This was my first time being very far from home, and I didn't know what the semester would hold. I was nervous, concerned I wouldn't have many friends, and worried that many things would go wrong.  But I look back on that semester with an incredible fondness.  It was truly amazing, one of the most beautiful adventures of my life. :) My worries were slowly dispelled, and God taught me how to trust Him with everything.  "Oceans," when I heard it, spoke to my heart deeply...because it spoke from my heart deeply.  It was exactly what I felt as I embarked on that journey:

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown,

Where feet may fail. 

And there I find you in the mystery,

In oceans deep,

My faith will stand. 

And I will call upon Your name,

And keep my eyes above the waves,

When oceans rise,

My soul will rest in Your embrace,

For I am yours, and you are mine.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters,
Your sovereign hand will be my guide.
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me,
You've never failed, and You won't start now.

I won't say that semester was completely free of worry and struggle.  There were moments where I felt them strongly, particularly in the beginning.  But in those moments, I was able to find comfort, encouragement, and direction (some easy to take, some harder) in the Lord, particularly in the celebration of the Mass, which I could attend every day if I wanted because classes did not meet at that time, and also in a little prayer book I had received form my dad: My Daily Bread.  

That semester taught me to trust God in a whole new way: with my relationships with people, with my immediate and long-term needs, with the smallest and biggest details of traveling abroad, and so forth.  Once I was able to really trust God with that, I found that I didn't need to be afraid; that He would take care of it, and, not only that, but things turned out even better than I could have imagined or planned for myself.  I learned that His plans are so much greater than mine, and I learned to trust those plans enough to give up my own.

My journey to where I am now has required a lot of trust, too; but it has been made a bit easier by remembering how God asked me to trust Him that semester and how beautiful the end result of that was.  I remember sitting in my room a few weeks before graduation from undergrad and Oceans started playing on my computer.  I remember just sitting for a moment and listening, and remembering how nervous I was before beginning that semester abroad, and applying that life lesson to the right now: God was with me when I went to Europe for four months, and that's not going to change as I'm going to a new and unfamiliar place for two years.

That's what kept me going. That's what kept, and has continued to keep me from getting overwhelmed and freaked out by how new all of this is.  Because I know, no matter what happens, and no matter where I go, my God is always, always the same.  He's never failed and He won't start now.  No matter what happens, good or bad, He will be there, just as He's always been.  All I have to do is turn to Him.

So as I've sat on the shore by the ocean, and tasted the salt in the waves as I braved deeper waters, I remember just how good God is, and how I can always depend on Him.  Though everything else may change, He will be there. He is my solid ground. He is my constant.

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, 

Let me walk upon the waters, 

Wherever you would call me, 

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, 

And my faith will be made stronger, 

In the presence of my Savior.

Beloved, we are God’s children now; it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. And every one who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. 

~1 John 3:2-3~

Until we meet again,

the Itinerant Catechist